Yogg-Saron's Flawless Plan

Yogg-Saron's Flawless Plan was originally a humorous post on the official forums. It went like this:

Yogg-Saron: Okay, so this whole plan is going pretty well. I've gunked up a tree in Grizzly Hills, I've enslaved the Keepers of Ulduar, and I've set up an impassable ravine between my inner sanctum and the outside world, so nobody can get in to stop me.

Kologarn: AND I WILL STAND IN IT.

Yogg-Saron: Seriously not necessary, K-Garn. I've got that whole thing under control. Check out the map. It says that's "The Shattered Walkway." It used to just be "The Walkway." Until I shattered it. No walkway, no progress. Pure effin' genius.

Kologarn: AND THAT IS WHERE I WILL SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF THEM.

Yogg-Saron: No, dude. You don't need to go there at all. You can pretty much just take the week off. Maybe meet some ladies. I can't even remember the last time you hooked up.

Kologarn: NONE SHALL PASS.

Yogg-Saron: Well, that's the point of a huge ravine. So I don't really need your help.

Kologarn: I CAN CRUSH AN ARMORED TAUREN IN MY POWERFUL STONE GRIP.

Yogg-Saron: Yeah, but the tauren can't get over the ravine anyway. And it will be extra funny, because they could totally get over the ravine if they could use their flying mounts, but flying mounts are disabled in Ulduar. That will make them crazy. See, that's what I do.

Kologarn: WITH MY OVERHEAD SMASH, I CAN MAKE THE EARTH SHAKE. MY FOCUSED EYEBEAMS TURN MY VERY RAGE INTO LAZERS.

Yogg-Saron: Okay, I guess if you really want a crack at them. But it's fine with me if you just want to knock off. What's your hard mode?

Kologarn: HARD MODE?

Yogg-Saron: Can you, like, buff yourself to do double damage, or have twice as much health or something?

Kologarn: I AM VERY LARGE.

Yogg-Saron: Fair enough. Go hang out there. I guess, even if they beat you, I've still got my bases covered with the whole shattering-the-walkway plan.

Kologarn: YEAH. I DON'T SEE ANY WAY YOU'LL BE SORRY ABOUT THIS.