Major Payne

Major Payne is a grand master Pet Tamer located at the northeastern edge of the Argent Tournament Grounds in Icecrown. He stands in formation with his three level 25 battle pets: Beakmaster X-225, Bloom, and Grizzle.

Defeating him is required to complete the Taming Northrend achievement.

Major Payne is also the author of a series of articles on battle pets and, most recently, the Timeless Isle.

Background
The most oldest known history about Payne is during the time he was a child in the Swamp of Sorrows. There he would stay with his crazy uncle at Marshtide Watch. His uncle found send him to do various tasks to improve his agility, speed and aiming skills. One these tasks was to gather some toads from the swamp. He grabbed his Red Rider Air Rifle and went for the hunt. However, he soon realized that killing these critters was boring so we used the gun to kill flies. To still bring something back to his starving uncle and companions, he got them some Sawtooth Crocolisks. There was also a time when he visited his crazy grandfather in Stranglethorn Vale where they would go fishing. Like his uncle, he would give him some hard tasks for training. One of these tasks was to tie a rope around him and jump overboard. Thanks to this, he became the first person to swallow two elusive gill-breathers. After his training, he decided to travel the world with legends like Brann Bronzebeard and Harrison Jones to see in what kind of trouble he would get in.

Loch Modan
There was a time when Payne was found in Loch Modan. There he hunted Grizzly Bears with a Whittling Knife. During his hunt, he was ambushed by Sagepaw. However, the major got the better of him as he ended up with fist-full of gnoll teeth, three new scars, and a very warm fur blanket.

Zul’Farrak
There was a time when Major Payne traveled to Zul'Farrak to face the demigod Gahz'rilla in which he won and ended up with a electrified scale cloak.

Outland
Payne entered Karazhan and faced Prince Malchezaar. Payne would join the ranks of the Sons of Lothar as an initial in Outland. His commander sent him on a scouting mission in Hellfire Peninsula. While the fel orcs didn't notice him, a Fel Reaver screaming so loud that Payne's eardrums were hurting did. The Fel Reaver stepped on Payne, but he was able to fight back and defeat him.

Sometime later during his training, he and a couple of other soldiers were sent to the Eye to defeat the biggest reaver he ever saw, the Void Reaver. While the reaver was strong, Payne and his teammates won.

After all of this, he advanced through the ranks and eventually ended in Northrend.

Argent Tournament
Aside from the scourge, Major Payne had to deal with a pesky rogue who was causing him trouble at the Argent Tournament and also left a scar on his back. He also commented that the now deceased rogue used poison from Zangarmarsh.

Townlong Steppes
After his success against the Lich King in Northrend, Major Payne travailed to Pandaria and went to weaponless to Shan'ze Dao in the Townlong Steppes. He uassually would do a regularly hike just so he can swing cloudrunners around by their tails and laugh in Hei Feng’s face. However, one time he ended up fighting G'nathus and after twenty-three seconds he ended up eating the eel.

Isle of Giants
When he heard of a secret club who liked to round up large, ferocious beasts into a corral and try to ride them. Payne believed they were stupid for their outfits were torn to shreds, so Payne created his own gang (The Direhorn Expert Riding Professionals Syndicate). Every Tuesday, they would go to the Isle of Giants and ride majestic beasts. On the island he also defeated Oondasta.

Tanaris
Payne was also called upon during the assault on the Isle of Thunder where he defeated Lei Shen and Ra-den and also the Dark Animus. After that he went to Tanaris to search for treasure. When he found a whale's skeleton, he was approached by a Living Sandling who according to him he was taking revenge after his onslaught on the isle. The sandling was no match and Payne easily took him down, but not before leaving a sand trap that took one of his boots. The matter upset him so greatly that he traveled back to the Isle of Thunder on foot to fight more sandlings.

Uldum
While exploring the caverns of Uldum, he accidentally set a booby trap. After surviving, Payne ran through the forest and along the Akhenet Fields. Suddenly, he ended up being cased by pygmies. Soon he met up with Budd and escaped on a flying machine. While on the plan, Payne felt something hugging his leg. When they landed, Payne was disgusted when he found out it was a snake.

Battlefield: Barrens
While not seen during the events, Payne does admit that he was present during the Darkspear Rebellion. He also quotes that he think that Garrosh is just a ego maniacal bully and that he prefers how thing where in the past.

Darnassus
When Stone Cold Trixxy needed someone to help her with her team strategy, she immediately called Major Payne. Because Historian Llore had asked Payne to research the temporal anomalies that were happening on the Timeless Isle, he was found in Stormwind at the moment when she reached him. He immediately got on The Bravery and left Stormwind early to sailed to Rut'theran Village.

After taking the portal leading to the city, he was amazed by Darnassus's beauty. He then headed to the Temple of the Moon, where he greeted Tyrande Whisperwind and played a new card game with Malfurion Stormrage and lost. After the game, he went to the Cenarion Enclave. There he wrestled a stormsaber and climbed a few trees with one arm. While he was having fun, an Ancient Protector caught his attention. He approached it and the two spoke about its job and its relationship with the night elves. Soon after he traveled to Winterspring and found Trixxy.

Quests

 * Grand Master Payne
 * A Brief Reprieve
 * Grand Master Payne (daily)

Quotes

 * I will fight with honor and valor for the glory of the Alliance!


 * say

Major Payne's Pet Menagerie
Since March 2013, Major Payne has taken it upon himself to help readers to prepare themselves "to conquer all of Azeroth’s Battle Pets". Each week, with the assistance of Crithto, the Major dispenses vital information on the habits and character of a featured pet, as well as taking the chance to share with readers some very memorable stories from his early days in his own inimical (and humble) style.

A list of articles can be found here.

Major Payne's Advanced Pet Battles Training
After a year of humbly yet masterfully tutoring millions of aspiring tamers in the art of pet battling, in March 2014 Major Payne deemed his army of readers ready to progress from basic training to an advanced course of study. After hunting down some of the rarest pets in Azeroth over the course of the previous year, in the advanced course Payne turns his attention to pet tamers themselves. While advanced pet battlers may already have defeated these tamers in battle, Payne sets some new challenges that force readers to work a little harder, such as limiting the level and types of pets allowed, and requiring all player pets to survive the battle in order to claim victory. Crithto retains his role as Payne's right-hand pooch, spilling the beans on each week's featured tamer and setting the requirements for victory.

A list of articles can be found here.

Other

 * An Evening on the Timeless Isle

Notes and trivia

 * Major Payne really, really hates snakes.
 * His favorite place to camp is Ihgaluk Crag.
 * Major Payne has three Ashes of Al'ar.
 * From all the monsters he'd wished they would have become part of his powerful family, Grandmother is his favorite.
 * As a young boy, Payne would have a recurring nightmare about a Voidcaller.
 * His greatest fear is a Singing Sunflower.
 * According to Payne, Silas Darkmoon is up to something. The only leads he got was from Topper McNabb.
 * The canonicity of his background is dubious, considering he is supposed to have stayed at Marshtide Watch during his childhood. The town was only built after the Cataclysm.

Relatives
He may be related to Winter Payne.