Boommaster Flark

Boommaster Flark is a goblin who works for. He seeks to create the most powerful explosion of all. His assistant's name is Boomnician Breena.

Lab Log
Recording Mech Unit: F7HL-LUM1
 * Begin Boomaster Flark Transcript ***

Another checkup, huh? The big boss man couldn’t come down here himself, eh? Too good to mingle with the little guys, eh?Here comes the... Here comes the BOOM(master Flark)

Here. Hold this for a sec.


 * loud boom::


 * cackling::


 * F7HL-LUM1 offended bweep::

Aw, c’mon. It was funny! Plus that shield kept you in one piece. Oh, speaking of pieces, you should see the look on the face-plate of the last bot I played that joke on! It might still be lying around here somewhere. . ..


 * F7HL-LUM1 horrified query::

Scientist? I’m no scientist, spark plug. I’m an engineer and proud of it. There ain’t no theories or hypotenuses going on in the Boomatorium. Everything I work on is practical. And loud, heh heh.

This robot's the bomb.


 * F7HL-LUM1 query::

Bombs!? Please, I prefer the term “fireworks”. My work brings joy, AND huge explosions, to everybody. Oh, and not just explosions! Fireworks can do a lot before they blow up, y’know. Imagine the possibilities of rockets in public transit! Get a load of this! I call it the Boomzooka! You just load up the passengers here, light the fuse, and then they zoom outta there at high velocity! THEN they explode. Still workin’ on that part. I mean, sure, it’s got pizzazz but nobody’ll use the Boomzooka if they don’t survive the trip.

Saaay, I could use some help testin’ it out. . ..

We're not certain, but we believe this mode of transport may bomb.


 * F7HL-LUM1 hasty negative::

Fine, fine. You go tell your sell-out of a boss I need somebody else to gimme a hand, then. Oh, and another thousand kilos of thorium, seaforium, and saronite, some mana crystals, a case of Kaza Kola. . . and a sandwich. Extra peppers.

*** End Boomaster Flark Transcript ***