Oxhorn

Oxhorn is a popular machinima artist who makes World of Warcraft films commonly parodying songs, films, and primarily the game itself. He can be found on the Silver Hand American server. His actual name is Brandon M. Dennis

Associate Professor Evil Kills All Beggars
Associate Professor Evil seeks to make the most evil potion in the world, so that he might become the most powerful warlock around. In the process, he is accosted by a number of beggars and finally snaps!

Associate Professor Evil Kills All Gold Farmers
Associate Professor Evil has no use for the key to the city of Orgrimmar, and so he and Barnaby must come up with a new plan to harness great power.

This movie placed second in the Action / Adventure category during the Blizzcon 2007 Machinima Contest.

Associate Professor Evil Kills All Ninja Looters
Associate Professor Evil is up for tenure! Finally, after all his many years as instructor at the Evil Alchemist University, he can establish himself. But will he get his tenure? Or will some unpredictable event cause him to seek after some powerful item that might have the chance of being stolen by ninja looters maybe perhaps?

Inventing Swear Words
The censors in the game can be quite a pain for those who desire to swear. Sure, you can turn the censor filter off, but how then will you communicate with those that have it on? Oxhorn, Staghorn and Mortuus have decided to invent curse words in order to aid communication.

Inventing Swear Words 2
Since the previous swear words that they invented have not caught on yet, Oxhorn, Staghorn and Mortuus meet again in order to come up with a new one and to discuss promotion strategies. They enlist the help of Hat the singing turtle and Lacy, who is Mortuus’ girlfriend. But things don’t go exactly according to plan.

Inventing Swear Words 3
Oxhorn, Staghorn and Mortuus have been unsuccessful in getting their newly invented swear words to be used, and so they go off to the Un'Goro Crater in search of the Master of Euphemisms, to see if he can help.

Inventing Swear Words 4
After grossing out all his friends by announcing his engagement, the day has finally arrived for Mortuus to marry Lacy, the love of is life. Even if she is a giant half-cow womanish... thing. And who officiates the wedding? Why, none other than Warlord Gorchuk, who has apparently had his fill of red snappah and is masterful!

Inventing Swear Words 5
Ox, Stag and Mort have figured out a way to spread their invented swear words--hack into Blizzard's chat filter! The process, however, may be more complicated than they planned.

Hat vs. Barnaby
Hat the Singing Turtle loves to sing, and he has many fans. There are others, however, think that his singing is pure rubbish. Barnaby the crab is one of them. What is left to do when your precious singing has been insulted by an ornery crab? Why, defend your honor, of course. A fight of epic proportions is sure to ensue!

Krick in the Back!
Oxhorn gets a krick in his back. Warlord Gorchuk helps him out.

Red Snappah!
At long last, the gates to Ahn'Qiraj will soon open! Surely Warlord Gorchuk has something mighty for Oxhorn to do in order to help open the gates. Wait... he wants peacebloom? That doesn't seem very mighty...

Oxhorn Tells Off Xfire
Xfire sponsored a contest for up-and-coming Machinima film makers, asking them to each make an advertisement for their contest with a cash reward based upon the number of downloads the advertisement got. Why, this is pure exploitation, and Oxhorn will have nothing to do with it! Watch while Oxhorn picks on Xfire (and, more than anything, himself) acting like a snooty fool.

The Joy of Punting Gnomes
This is a short commercial Oxhorn made in response to Xfire's "VIP" contest. They asked a few authors to make a promo commercial that would be aired on MTV and its affiliates, and then they would pick the best one. "Squirrelbane" by the fellows over at Myndflame was chosen over mine (for reasons that are obvious).

Drunken Kodo Riding
Oxhorn has a few drinks and then goes out for a lovely ride through The Barrens on his kodo, Busco. Little does he know that the Orgrimmar Mounted Police are watching his every turn!

Elf On
Elf On--Apply directly to an Elf! Do Elves annoy you on a daily basis? Elf On. Do you wish you could get rid of them? Elf On. Does the sight of them fill you with a rage that you cannot explain? Elf On.

Available Now from Oxhorn Brand Merchandise!

Orcs in SPACE!
Orcs. In space. Pestering meteors. And singing. You get the idea.

Orcs in SPACE! 2
Orcs. In space. Doing nothing.

The Peace Circle
Mortuus, Associate Professor Evil and a hungry ogre named Thunk sit down for a little chat with a hippy elf.

The Invisible Pink Unicorn
A man in a funny hat confronts three engineers who have mocked him for believing in the Invisible Pink Unicorn. Will the man win them over with the power of his rhetoric? Will the engineers prove how foolish he is and dismiss him? Or will the Invisible Pink Unicorn show up and startle everyone?

We Eat Flesh!
Francis Baconmeister Jr. loves meat, and he owns a meat-only restaurant to prove it. But what will happen when a bunch of hippie elves protest his fine establishment? And what on earth is his secret ingredient?

Mighty Morphin' Midget Gnomes UNITE!
Midget Gnomes unite! Blue, Yellow, Pink, Green, Red! All the Mighty Morphin' Midget Gnomes want to do is eat cupcakes and watch a bull-fight, but their boss, the Giant Floating Head, wants to send them on a mission. Will a compromise be made so that both parties get their way? Or will the Giant Head assert his authority? Or will the Gnomes poke out his eyes and read copies of the swimsuit edition of Good Gnomekeeping?

ROFLMAO!
All I can say is, ROFLMAO!

An Oxhorn Brand Medley
Ever wonder what would happen if all the characters from the Oxhorn Brand Universe were to collide? This song incorporates quotes and choruses from many of his movies. Can you recognize them all?

The Anti-Elf Anthem
Of all the men of Azeroth, I must say that my least favorite race is the Elf! This is an anthem for all of those like me who detest Elves with every fiber of their being. And to all those who play Elves out there, I fully realize that you are free to choose whichever race you want. And you chose wrong.

Hehe, just joking.

Kinda.

The Great Kodo
By far, the best mount is the game is the kodo. This movie is a tribute to the kodo and everything that makes the kodo the greatest creature to have lived (in Azeroth).

Birth of the Forsaken
This movie tells the story of how the Forsaken came to be.

The Tauren's Kilt
He adapted a song called "The Scotsman" by The Irish Rovers and sang it for this film.

Courting a Celt
He made this for the Axe/Xfire contest, using the game Dark Age of Camelot. It didn't place. He still really likes it and put a lot of work into it. IT IS NOT WOW MACHINIMA

Epic Raids
A Happy Days spoof set to World of Warcraft. A joint project with EgadPit

Gnome Overboard
Three men and a gnome go out to sea to slay the mighty whale, but they never come home to kiss their wives 'cuz their ship goes down in a gale. Who bears the blame for this unfortunate accident? Why, none other than the cursed gnome!

Work Work, Zug Zug, Dabu
A labor day special!

Oxhorn's Christmas Special
Oxhorn, Staghorn and Mortuus are going to a Christmas party at Shattrath, but the trip is taking too long. Staghorn craves some pecan pie, and they concoct a devious plan.

The 12 days of Winters Veil
To everyone at Blizzard Entertainment, WarCraftMovies.com, his fellow machinimator peers and most importantly, all the fans whose support has made movie making all the more worthwhile, he wish you all a merry Christmas and a happy Winter’s Veil!

Hark! Hear the Wails
A short carol in World of Warcraft, with a devious twist. Original music by him, based on a traditional Christmas carol. Filmed in the Undercity, dead-bells a'ringing.

Oxhorn's Christmas Tree
Oxhorn has a pretty Christmas tree. The Elves of the world have other plans.

Rabbit Stew
Ox just can't seem to color the perfect Easter egg. Will Mort or Stag do any better?

Racing the Grimtotem
Roper and his wife Lanalee are on hard times and have only silverleaf soup to eat. They have already begun to talk of eating the family kodo when Lanalee finds a flyer in Gadgetzan promoting a race to be held in the Shimmering Flats, with a prize that is more than enough to buy food with. But does the family kodo have it in him to win the race? And even if they do win, who will lose, and what will be the consequences of either winning or losing? Especially when the other racers belong to the thuggish Grimtotem clan...

Oxhorn
Oxhorn was raised in Mulgore, and didn’t have a particularly interesting childhood. Oftentimes people will say that they are related to Thrall or Cairne or some other prominent figure in some way, like being Thrall’s nephew’s cousin’s tutor’s massage therapist, but Oxhorn isn’t related to anyone special. No, his parents were just two hard-working Tauren that lived perfectly hum-drum lives.

Now that he is grown, Oxhorn likes to spend his time riding his kodo Busco, joining his friends for a drink at the local pub, perpetuating hatred towards all of elf-kind, and shooting little movies. He has been in a lot of movies, and has played a number of roles, but he is best known for the grammatical escapades he has undertaken with his friends Staghorn and Mortuus.

Staghorn
Staghorn is level thirty-three. He wears green iron armor and likes it so well that he has no intention of ever changing it. He belongs to a guild named Reluctance, which role-plays all the time, and he takes his role-playing very seriously. After spending hour after hour with his guild-mates, tagging “–eth” to the end of every word and throwing out nuggets like “dost”, “thou” and “forsooth”, Staghorn will often hang out with his friends Oxhorn and Mortuus to relax. Mortuus, however, tries hard to make Staghorn’s relaxation hardly relaxing.

Mortuus
Mortuus is an uber l33t d00d. You know that guy that pwns ur flak hard? You know that guy who hangs out in Darnassus waiting for some gray elf to walk by? You know that guy who camps the graveyard, waiting for you to respawn? Mortuus, Mortuus, Mortuus. And he makes no apology for his behavior. After all, you chose to play the Alliance, and it is his mission to remind you every day that you chose wrong. Mortuus has spent so much time perfecting his l33t ninja skillz that he never had a chance to learn the English language properly, and thus he can’t help but speak in l33t. But don’t make fun of the way he talks, or he’ll r0xorz ur b0xorz with some r0ffle-waffles, you n00bish bloiting blits. Ftw. (In Borean Tundra, there is NPC called Foreman Mortuus.)

Lacy
Lacy is Mortuus’ girlfriend. She is a big ugly female Tauren. Now, Tauren are not ugly by nature. In fact, many Tauren women are down-right beautiful. It’s just that Lacy is not one of those Tauren women. In the words of Oxhorn, “She looks like she was tied to the bumper of the ugly truck with the ugly rope and then dragged down Ugly Street for fifty ugly miles.” Luckily for her, Mortuus thinks that she's hot, and the two have been dating for quite some time. They eventally get married, and even have children, which, as described by Ox and Stag, are "dead cow-bies".

Hat
Hat is a singing turtle. He was born in a little pond in The Barrens, but he could not relate to the other turtles. They all wanted to eat crickets and worms, and while crickets and worms are all fine and dandy, all Hat really wanted to do was sing. As far as turtles go, Hat sings fairly well, but poor Hat can hardly compare to professional singers. But that doesn’t bother him! No sir, if Hat wants to sing, Hat will sing, and there is nothing that can get in his way! Except for Barnaby, who can’t stand his singing.

Warlord Gorchuk
Warlord Gorchuk was responsible for collecting supplies donated by the Horde in order to open the gates to Ahn’Qiraj. At the time, he tormented poor Oxhorn, who just wanted to enter a super-cool new dungeon. Now that the gates are open and Gorchuk is retired, his only life goal is to annoy Oxhorn at every available opportunity.

Associate Professor Evil
Associate Professor Evil was sent to the Evil Alchemist University by his parents so that he might become the most evil alchemist ever. He studied hard while he was there, and didn’t have much of a social life. All of his friends dropped out and are now selling cheese or cockroaches in the Undercity, but Associate Professor Evil graduated with honors, and now works at the Evil Alchemist University, instructing students in evil alchemy. In order to maintain his reputation, he must be constantly pursuing evil… pursuits. He has decided that he wants a lot of power, and has concocted a number of schemes in order to get such power. He and his pet crab named Barnaby travel all over Azeroth, when he is not teaching, in order to find new ways of attaining evil power. Instead, Associate Professor Evil ends up solving some social ill, which forces many to ask whether or not he is truly evil at all.

Barnaby
Barnaby is Associate Professor Evil’s pet crab. He’s a rather laid back guy. When Associate Professor Evil found him, Barnaby was trying to catch cheese from a river. Associate Professor Evil pointed out that it is impossible to catch cheese from a river, and Barnaby realized that he made a good point. He was so impressed by Associate Professor Evil’s smarts (and the bit of cheese he gave him) that Barnaby decided to follow him. Every now and then, Associate Professor Evil will make some outrageous demand of Barnaby, like “Kill all the beggars in Orgrimmar for me, Barnaby” or “Kill all the gold farmers in Dead Wind Pass for me, Barnaby,” but Barnaby is pleased to oblige, for it often means that he’ll be able to feast on his favorite dish—elf.

Thunk
Thunk is an Ogre, born and brought up in Dire Maul, named for the sound he made when he fell out of his mommy’s belly. He always thought it was a terribly cute story, but he has yet to get a warm reception after telling it. Thunk, however, has never been one to give up. No, he will continue to tell the story, and to eat turkey, and to do a great many things that other ogres don't want to do, because that’s just the kind of guy he is. He is also a very polite ogre, which is why the other ogres don’t let him hang out with them at Dire Maul and other oger-ish places, for what kind of ogre is polite? Instead, he eats turkey and attends self-help meetings to learn more about himself. He usually ends up hating whatever he learns about himself, and instead hangs out with his friend Associate Professor Evil, who also shares his love of turkey.

The Horde-shop Quartet
The Horde-shop quartet is led by Oxhorn, and includes three friends he found in Orgrimmar one day. He discovered that they could sing, and so he conscribed them to help him sing an anthem for all those who hate elves. They had such a good time singing the song that Oxhorn has promised to get them all together for another song, someday.

Dr. Strange Orc and Dink
Dr. Strange Orc and Dink inexplicably found themselves floating in space one day. They have no idea how they got there. It is therefore their mission to find ways to entertain themselves. This is usually accomplished by singing old songs that no one else would ever enjoy and harassing passing meteorological objects.

Master of Euphemisms
The Master of Euphemisms lives within a cave in the Un’Goro Crater. He is the master of wordplay, and can fill any seemingly harmless phrase with naughty meaning. On many occasions he has been accosted by female trolls who think that his "pinnacle of manly vigor" is quite nice, and so he wears a disguise when meeting strangers to scare them away. His self-imposed exile has gone on for a very long time, which has given him years to hone his euphemism art and, by consequence, increase his fame, causing all female trolls to yearn for his "upwardly mobile ham radio" even more. They constantly beckon for him from the mouth of his cave, and some even see past his disguise. He now spends most of his time defending himself from the rambunctious advancements of ladies whose "kettles are boiling" for him. It's a hard life.

Hippy Elf
Hippy Elf is an elf who is a hippy. He is quite annoying. He usually says something politically correct before being killed in the most horrible way imaginable. Now, many might say that this is just mean of me, to constantly be killing the same elf over and over again in my movies.

Well… yeah. So?

Quintus
Quintus is a graduate student at the Evil Alchemist University, and is Associate Professor Evil’s underling. He lives in the tower and eats gruel. He is an intelligent man and willingly puts himself under Associate Professor Evil’s authority, but he is not afraid to defy his master if the situation warrants. He is cold and logical, and unlike his master, never allows himself to be overcome with passion. He will make a good professor someday.

Mighty Morphin Midget Gnomes
Midget Gnomes unite! Blue! Green! Pink! Yellow! Red! The Mighty Morphin’ Midget Gnomes are the secret defenders of Stormwind City. Whenever the city is in terrible peril, the Mighty Morphin’ Midget Gnomes are there! Cross them and they shall unite and transform into a terrible and powerful being that none can stop!

Unless you are over three feet tall.

BLIT
noun:

1. A malicious, evil, selfish, unpleasant or otherwise contemptible person; (Timmy’s mom is a blit). 2. Anything difficult or unpleasant; (that job was a blit). 3. Any part of anything, whether one’s body or a part of an object; (I’m going to kick you in the blit).

BLOIT
verb:

1. To complain; gripe; (stop bloitting). 2. To fumble, mess up, drop the ball; (I bloitted that one). 3. To strike, act carelessly, wastefully or foolishly; (he bloitted me in the foot).

phrasal verb:

1. To shirk one’s duty; (just bloit it). 2. To go away: used as an exclamation of impatience; (bloit off!) 3. To waste time; (I bloitted all day).

interjection:

1. Used to express anger, rejection and disgust, often followed by a pronoun, such as “you” or “it”; (go bloit yourself).

as an adjective, adverb:

1. Damned; confounded; bloody; (that bloitting politician).

CHAK
verb:

1. To strike, act carelessly, wastefully or foolishly; (don’t chak him in the thumb). 2. To be in an undesirable position, (I’m chakked).

FLAK
noun:

1. Any part of anything, whether one’s body or a part of an object; (she thumped me in the flak). 2. To care, be concerned; (I don’t give a flak).

verb:

1. To be in an undesirable position, (you’re flakked).

GRAT
interjection:

1. Used to express anger, rejection and disgust, often followed by a pronoun, such as “you” or “it”; (grat it!)

as an adjective, adverb:

1. Damned; confounded; bloody; (that gratting idiot).

WOLSH
verb:

1. To strike, act carelessly, wastefully or foolishly; (you wolshed that guy bad). 2. To abuse or manipulate against one’s will; (I was thoroughly wolshed). 3. Any part of anything, whether one’s body or a part of an object; (I was hit in the wolsh).