Alamo


 * CAT DURID IS 4 FITE!
 * —Alamo



Alamo, a level 80 tauren druid from the Thunderhorn server, had grown in notoriety for a post he made titled "Alamo teechs u 2 play DURID!" on the official WoW druid boards. The topic itself is filled with poorly edited MSpaint images, horrible spelling, and humor reflecting it. However, in interviews with Alamo's player as shown below, it was meant to be a parody due to the fact that he does grasp the English language. His topic has given way to an interesting catchphrase, while not of the magnitude of Leeroy Jenkins, "Cat Durid is 4 fite!"

Similar posts include Kralnor for warlocks, Mellin for paladins, Vllaana for rogues, Halbrium for shamans, and Stinka for RPers.

Blizzard has made tributes to Alamo. On the TBC Druid spells page, the last three screenshots depict a Tauren male druid in full Dreamwalker, whose name is Alamo. Moreover, Alamo was featured in the World of Warcraft Trading Card Game set Drums of War as a Horde ally. Alamo is also featured in the 2009 April Fools, Introducing the Dance Battle System.

==Alamo teechs u 2 play DURID! == Posted at 11/22/2005 12:09:09 PM PST

sumtimes peeps say 2 me HAY HOW 2 PLAY DURID IDK LOL! SO NOW, u CAN PLAY DURID by only rred this!

2) ITS EZ, u can only haf 2 reed teh

ALAMOES COMPLEET DURID INSTURCKSHUN

OK LISSEN Almo noes about sum durid things sinse the baginning. Maybe B4 durids was week & stuff but now Durids is very storng.

1) OK, Sum durids is bare



2) Tehm whos bare durids, can B 4 tank:



ONLY DURID DONT HAF SUM PEEPS IN THE HEAD AND A GUNZ LOL!

3) Man, sum bare druids can maek sum peeps poop in feer bc/ tehms so storng.



4) Bare druids is not so good at uh moonfare spam but its OK b/c a bare durid haf many armors &

when a thing hits durid, maybe thing gets borken hand LOL!

5) Bare durids is 4 funs when u can charje & stun & haf sum armors lol.

OK LISSEN Also durid haf uh seel form.

1) Seel is can fite, but is kind week.

2) Seel for swim, is fast & dont breeth

3) When seel is gone for fish, is nobody will catch.

4) Seel is can teech frends how is swim



ALSO I FORGETS

Durid has can run fast form is TRAVEL FORM

1) looks liek cheetuh

2) dont cheet or u get bann LOL! JK!!

3) Cheetuh can run fast and him is can run away frum trubul.

AND ASLO

SUM DURIDS IS MOON KIN

1) Them 1s is look all funny liek maybe form MOON! LOL!

2) mostly uh moonkin is 4 a spam moonfare

3) them haf sum good armors & fite storng.

DURIDS IS VEERY FAST AND STORNG IN PVP CAN CAST ROOT 4 MAKE PEEPS STOP WHEN MOVE!!



bc Peeps can always ask if cat druid can B GOOD FOR FITE OR WHAT MAYBE?



U NO CAT DURIDS IS VERY STORNG! SUM PEEPS DUNNO Y SO HEAR IS LIST

1) OK now sum durid is cat

2) Cat durid, tehm dosent heel.

3) Cat uis for fite

4) Cat durid dosent talk about fite



5) when cat durid is FITE do not ask for HEEL and NINIRVATE!



and CAT DURIDS is no spam moonfare! Sum cat durids dosent no wut is uh moonfare!



DURIDS IS MUST ALWAYZ HALP EECH OTHER: sumtimes a new durid is need sum halp and advise frum a good durid so u shuld alway halp unother



Even I lernd all this form DURID SCKOLL who has wut uh famus teecher there who is knows all this:



DURIDS IS HARD, & BUT STRONG

SUM PEEPLE THINK DURIDS IS CANT BE BARE AND CAN ONLY HEEL AND THEM DOSENT

NO THEY IS ALWAYS CAN SAY:



BUT ONLY DONT LISSEN TO THEM.

Durids is storng for bare or cat or seel or whatver and u dosent haf 2 heel if u dont liek heel

DURIDS IS 4 haf FUN TIME WIT FRENS every1 is like a fun time durid!!



==ALAMO teeches u 2 Burnin Croosaid! == Posted at 12/23/2006 12:03:47 AM UTC

OK HAY GUSY! ITS ME, ALAMO LOL. AND I HAF TO TELL U SUM NEW STUFF NOW, OK?

PEEPLE IS ASK ME WUT IS NEW DURID STUFFS?

IS HAF SUM FLYING FORM? AND TREE FORM? AND WHAT MORE IS DIFFERNET? BARES IS CAN DANCE LIKE A RUSHIN CIRCUS LOL!?



YES, YES, YES! DURIDS IS STILL 4 FUN!

but sinse sum things is change, ALAMO teeches U 2 BURNIN CROOSAID!



durids is old class, and still haf much fun mor than others!



SOME PEEPLE IS NOT WANT TO UNDERSTAND DURIDS



BUT DURIDS IS BACK, AND MOR STORNG THAN B4! now, in BURN CROOSAID, is many things new durids is can do, what wuzznt cood do B4!



1) ONE THING NOW IS BARES IS CAN DUNCE! DUN DUN DUN! LOL! DUNCING BARES IS CAN MAKE HAPPY TIMES FOR UDDER FRENDS!



1) OK, HELLO TREE DURID!

TREE DURIDS IS HEEL, BUT DOSENT RUN! IS OK, DURID IS CAN HAF FAST RUN ANYWAY.



TREE DURID IS MAKE STRONG HOT! ONLY DON’T GIT 2 CLOSE 2 FIRES LOL!



MAYBE U NO SUM PEEPS WHO IS DON’T UNDERSTAND TREE DURID! U CAN TELL THEM SUMTHING SILLY!



2) UMM, STORMCROW!



OK, IMPORTINT... STORMCROW IS LIKE SHINY THING AND PECK AT EYES! ALSO, CAN FLY! B4 DURIDS IS CANT FLY, BUT NOW IS CAN EVEN POOP ON HEDS OF PEEPS LOL!



3) OK IS MANY NEW THINGS DURIDS IS CAN DO:

MANGLE: CAT DURIDS LUV SUM MANGLE. IS NOT MAN ANGLE, MAYBE U THINK- IS GIRL ANGLE, LIEK CORELIEL:



NOW BARE DURIDS IS CAN TANK GOOD! NO PEEPS IN HED STILL, BUT MAYBE GIT SUM ANTLERS OR UDDER CRAZY HED STUFF, IS NISE!

REMEMBERS- HEEL BARES DURID! BARE DURIDS IS STORNG FREND!



DURIDS IS ALSO VERY STORNG 4 PVP! BARES AND CATS FITE, MOONKIN MAKES MOON STUFF, AND SUM DURIDS IS 4 HEEL!



DON’T BE SCARED OF FITE, ONLY REMEMBER IMPORTANT DURID STUFF!



REMEMBER, DURIDS IS BEST! WHEN U IS HAF SUM FUN, ALL DURIDS IS HAF SUM FUN WIT U!! ALSO, DURIDS IS ALWAYS FRENDS, SO PLAY NISE, OK?



==Durids, u are friends! == Posted at 07/20/2007 1:04:50 AM GMT

Durids is make best frends. When people has lonely time, durids will haf sum laffs with lonely peeples!

Durids, u are my frends, and I likes you! almost like as much as bosoms!

==DURIDS is owtrage! == Posted at 10/30/2007 2:24:47 AM GMT

OK lissen! Win TRICK A TREE on sum WoW boreds, Durids is dosent liek no CANDY CORN!

Only things what liek that is uh nomes and kids! DURIDS we eat those kinds of things 4 BREKFAST!

Only good kind of corn is capricorn, with pretty fase and maybe cubby!



==ALAMO teech A CATTOKISSEM == They even maek a new form just for this!!

ALAMO teech abowt the CATTOKISSEM!

HEY GUSY! So ALAMO is just hiburninatin and hafin sum dreem where him is all in sum green thing with floaty bits and elf and stuffs and then him is WAKE UP and heer they got a doragn gonna eat all the world! THIS is sum FANSY STUFF!

A Thing is all carzy now, so maybe alamo gonna rite a thing before hims brekfust, for babee durids and for peeple to understand what a DUIRD DO! So now, while hims all awake and stuffs, ALAMO gonna teech U about this whole stuff!

1) See, Kanye, him dont like a Bush, and Blizzard, they is dont liek a tree! So DURID aint got no more to be a tree. Alamo like a tree, but not when make a leef all over the carpet.

2) They make a new thing, with CAT and KISS! But mostly CAT dont kiss, just jump on a thing and KILL IT ALL DEAD!

4) But Crazed MOON DURID, is ok to make a kiss right on the ECLIPS!

5) But dont only kiss a cat, because u know: CAT IS 4 FITE!

6) So DURID gonna be so storng heer, maybe everbuddy gonna be a durid thees day!

7) We got a bare. Him is not nise bare because him is gonna eat a fase! Bares mostly like the taste of fase!

6) OK now a Bare, him like sum HEVY METAL! BARE GOTTA THRASH. Just liek a thing wares short and high top sneeker and shake long hare reeeely fast! But also, ware sum plug in an ear wen you make this THRASH, becawse it make a thing bleed!

7) Also, all bare make peeple go fast when him RORE!! This is good, because a bare is deseptively fast. A Fast BARE, this is danjerus BARE! Bare don't even allow in OLIMPIC, becawse wonse upon a time, a bare run a rase in OLIMPIC. Maybe he dosen't win, but everduddy win after, becawse a BARE EAT ALL OTHER RASE MEN! Don't rase a hungry bare, is what sumbuddy shuld tell peeple.

8) MOON DURID, O yes wow man! Moon Durid hang out with 70's rock band and now make a MUSH ROOM from a SECRET PLASE! Mushrooms make a thing ECPLOAD! Espeshully a brain, if u listen to a moon durid backwards, u hear some CARZY THING!

9) Everbuddy liek a LOLCAT, make a funny say with a cute picshure! But now, picshure is not so cute, becawse a DURID now haf a TROLLCAT! Troll is make a talk all liek YAH MON. Maybe when trollcat and moondurid make a party together, is nobuddy remember not nothin next day!

10) WOLF MAN can also make a durid. WOLF MAN DURID, O man Alamo dosen't even haf to wear hims hot topic tee shirt no more! Now got all WOLF and CAT and BARE and MUCHROOM and SEEL and stuff all in same plase!

11) MAYBE I MAEK TOO MANY NUMBER!

Response to a heckler
On page 24 of Alamo's Burnin Croosaid post, he responds to a heckler (Cantrel, a paladin) in a slightly more eloquent fashion


 * Cantrel, I believe that you have missed the essential point of what Alamo has posted.


 * Alamo’s initial inspiration derives its source from T.S. Eliot’s collection of essays, The Sacred Wood. To support his discussion of the substance of poetic drama in the context of Cyrano, Eliot writes: “It must take genuine and substantial human emotions, such emotion as observation can confirm, typical emotions, and give them artistic form; the degree of abstraction is a question for the method of each author.”


 * This guide is not for everyone: it does not cater to the lowest common denominator, and thus I feel, leaves you behind. It is for druids who are able to understand the presented level of abstraction; that is, the first-hand experience of all things druidic. What I have done (and what I have done to make these posts endure) is taken the experience of the druid class, in all of its subtlety, and made it available to everyone. However, much like the druid class itself, it has met with some degree of trepidation and misunderstanding from the uninitiated; this is to be expected, and perhaps even encouraged.


 * The druid class has come a long way since beta, as superb druid players like Funhoofs can attest to. It has not always been easy playing a druid. There is a long litany of circumstances that have, at times, made the class hard and even un-fun to play. These include, but are not limited to, a lack of itemization that is only now, two years after release, being corrected; cat-form range bugs that make it difficult to attack from stealth; and the lack of being able to use the druid’s much-touted “versatility” in a raid setting.


 * Though it all, despite (in perception, if not in truth) seeming neglect from the developers, druids have maintained a stoic outlook. At the time that my original guide was posted, druid morale was at an all-time low, and the druid community found it a rallying point in an otherwise bleak, and often hostile, landscape. I have never been a fan of the mere stoic, and I believed that druid players deserved better than what they had been given. The complexities and vagaries of the druid class, along with its attendant misunderstandings and stereotypes, finds iconic (and ironic) expression in both of Alamo’s guides.


 * While you may not be able to see the humor in the posts, realize that they are not the product of a trite or idle mind. Above all else, realize that Alamo is loves you and is want even some shiny paladins as can be friends with him, even if they is can makes him run slow now!