Christy Punchcog

Christy Punchcog is a Mechagon mechagnome located in Rustbolt on Mechagon Island.

She promised Smiles Cracklekey new hands.

Quests

 * Adapt, Improve, Overcome!
 * First One's Free
 * Iteration is Key
 * Upgraded
 * Waste Not (Mechagon)

Dialogue
...

Rustbolt
I don't want to be rude, but have you considered extensive mechanization as an alternative to your current state?

I assure you, there is vast room for improvement in almost every way.

When you've already hit rock bottom...


 * The pocket-sized computation device is very customizable. You can insert a punch card into one of the slots on it, and the cards will modify the performance you get.
 * I based the design on King Mechagon's own personal device. You can even use his punch cards, if you can get one.


 * Your eyesight is average. That is to say, unacceptable.
 * We should replace them with fully mechanical visual scanning devices that can be upgraded via remote software upgrades every week.


 * Your skin is fine, but it could be incredible.
 * I recommend you reinforce it with some sort of... sentient elastic metal... that I'm trying to... invent as I say... this sentence...
 * 
 * Nope, didn't get it. Check back with me tomorrow. It'd be a terrific upgrade for you!


 * Imagine your arms... but, now, instead of arms... they're FLAMETHROWERS!


 * You are slower than a motorcycle.
 * Let's replace your entire lower half with a big ol' motorcycle.
 * We can make it whatever color you want. We'll get in all the science journals.
 * You want to pop wheelies while you're chasing down bad guys? I'm in! Let's do this!


 * You and your 29 best friends should install connective brain implants that allow you to strategize, gossip, and occasionally insult each other at all times, no matter where you are!
 * If you go for the super-deluxe edition, you can even transmit hilarious photographs to each other!


 * As you know, I strongly believe that most things can be improved through technology...
 * But in your case, I believe it's actually ALL things.
 * Let's start at the bottom and work our way up.
 * How attached, would you say, are you to those feet?


 * I've never recommended a full head replacement before... but maybe this is the time to try it.


 * You look tired. You should install energy cells around your heart.
 * That way, when it needs a break, just power it down and have the energy cells take over and power your body until your heart comes back online.
 * You'll need to remove some organs to make room for al the energy cells, but I'm sure we could replace most of those with smaller mechanical versions too.




 * say




 * say

The Other Place
I'm going to be blunt, your existence here is quite suspect!

Either you are an agent of King Mechagon, or you have impressive mechanization that I am unaware of.

Either way, I will be watching you very closely.