 Christy Punchcog | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Title | <Upgrade Specialist> |
| Gender | Female |
| Race | Mechagon mechagnome (Humanoid) |
| Level | 50 |
| Reaction | Alliance Horde |
| Affiliation(s) | Rustbolt Resistance |
| Location | Rustbolt, Mechagon Island |
| Status | Alive |
Christy Punchcog is a Mechagon mechagnome located in Rustbolt on Mechagon Island.
She promised Smiles Cracklekey new hands.
Quests[]
[50 Daily] Adapt, Improve, Overcome! 
- [50] First One's Free
- [50] Iteration is Key
- [50] Upgraded
- [50 Daily] Waste Not
Quotes[]
Dialogue[]
...
Gossip[]
Rustbolt[]
I don't want to be rude, but have you considered extensive mechanization as an alternative to your current state?
I assure you, there is vast room for improvement in almost every way.
When you've already hit rock bottom...
Tell me more about the 
[Pocket-Sized Computation Device].
- The pocket-sized computation device is very customizable. You can insert a punch card into one of the slots on it, and the cards will modify the performance you get.
- I based the design on King Mechagon's own personal device. You can even use his punch cards, if you can get one.
What improvements could mechanization offer me?
- Your eyesight is average. That is to say, unacceptable.
- We should replace them with fully mechanical visual scanning devices that can be upgraded via remote software upgrades every week.
- Your skin is fine, but it could be incredible.
- I recommend you reinforce it with some sort of... sentient elastic metal... that I'm trying to... invent as I say... this sentence...
- <Christy's face contorts as she struggles to think harder before letting out a massive exhale.>
- Nope, didn't get it. Check back with me tomorrow. It'd be a terrific upgrade for you!
- Imagine your arms... but, now, instead of arms... they're FLAMETHROWERS!
- You are slower than a motorcycle.
- Let's replace your entire lower half with a big ol' motorcycle.
- We can make it whatever color you want. We'll get in all the science journals.
- You want to pop wheelies while you're chasing down bad guys? I'm in! Let's do this!
- You and your 29 best friends should install connective brain implants that allow you to strategize, gossip, and occasionally insult each other at all times, no matter where you are!
- If you go for the super-deluxe edition, you can even transmit hilarious photographs to each other!
- As you know, I strongly believe that most things can be improved through technology...
- But in your case, I believe it's actually ALL things.
- Let's start at the bottom and work our way up.
- How attached, would you say, are you to those feet?
- I've never recommended a full head replacement before... but maybe this is the time to try it.
- You look tired. You should install energy cells around your heart.
- That way, when it needs a break, just power it down and have the energy cells take over and power your body until your heart comes back online.
- You'll need to remove some organs to make room for al the energy cells, but I'm sure we could replace most of those with smaller mechanical versions too.
- Thank you for your candid advice.
- Whatever your question is, mechanization is the answer!
- I'm perfect just the way I am!
- You have a funny definition of perfect.
The Other Place[]
I'm going to be blunt, your existence here is quite suspect!
Either you are an agent of King Mechagon, or you have impressive mechanization that I am unaware of.
Either way, I will be watching you very closely.
Patch changes[]
- Patch 8.2.0 (2019-06-25): Added.
