This article is a copy of "Goblin Engineering 101", an official article by Blizzard Entertainment located in the "Gadgetzan Times" of the old website.
|Do NOT change this article or section. It needs to be an accurate copy of the source.|
Goblin Engineering 101
Gadgetzan's prime industry is, of course, the engineering business. Engineering is like a religion here. Practitioners of the art come from all over the world to consult with the Master Engineers and to show their work. But here you will not find the abomination to the art that is gnomish engineering: oh no! The Gadgetzan goblins are masters of their own brand of engineering.
Gadgetzan Time's Nipskee Fizzwidget had a chat with Master Goblin Engineer Nuxt Sparklespring, who outlined the differences between the two forms of engineering.
"Those gnomes call themselves engineers, but they do not know the true secrets!" Nuxt said, as he seated himself in our offices. Clearly, this is a matter that he feels passionate about. "They waste so much time messing about with their ridiculous gadgets, which hardly ever work and always have unforeseen malfunctions, that they do not see the real potential of engineering!"
And what is the real potential of engineering? Nuxt has an immediate answer: "explosions of course!" he says waving his hands about, "the bigger, the better! It's all about explosions, baby!"
When asked if he would be interested in giving a demonstration, he was only too happy to oblige, and headed to his testing yard. All around the small yard were soot and scorch marks of previous experiments.
"We are always looking for bigger and better ways to blow stuff up," says Nuxt, as he shows us around. He is clearly in his element as he sets up a number of target dummies at the end of his testing yard. Already he is rubbing his hands together gleefully at the thought of more explosions. "As the war around us continues and we are surrounded by pirates, trolls, and other enemies, we need to be ready to blow them all into little pieces."
The first demonstration is of a simple stick of dynamite. Nuxt explains. "Dynamite is the foundation of explosive engineering. You only need some blasting powder and a bit of cloth and you have a powerful weapon. You just light the fuse and throw." He demonstrates and one of the target dummies is blown into pieces. Nuxt cackles gleefully.
"Dynamite throwing is a complex art though, restricted to those of us with an understanding of how it works. For laymen like you though, you want to try EZ-Thro Dynamite." He passes me a large stick of dynamite. There is a label on it which reads 'The dynamite for non-engineers that nearly always gets to the target!'
"Now, dynamite is very useful when you are in a fight already, or perhaps you want to start one, and the target is in throwing range. But what about if you have time to prepare? Supposing you knew an enemy was approaching and wanted to blow it up before it sees you?" He takes out a small mechanical squirrel and winds it up, then places it on the ground. "Imagine this is a pirate or a bandit and it's coming to get you. Now, you could throw dynamite, it is true, but it is much better to use a landmine!"
He lays a device on the ground in front of the squirrel, and then activates it. Nuxt explains, "a land mine will sit there doing nothing until someone is unfortunate enough to step onto it. At that point it will make a huge explosion and blow the target into smithereens!"
We watch with bated breath as the mechanical squirrel edges its way towards the landmine. The suspense is palpable. And then it happens. There is a click and a pause, and then an explosion. Pieces of the squirrel rain onto the ground and Nuxt bursts out laughing, "neat, huh?"
The final part of the demonstration involves camouflage. Once again, Nuxt provides an explanation. "A real art to using explosives is of course to blow up the target before it even knows that you are there. That's where camouflage comes in!"
There is a baa-ing noise from behind me and a small sheep wanders over. "Watch this," says Nuxt, winking conspiratorially. The sheep ambles its way over to the target dummies, sniffs at the ground, and then blows up. A part of the wall to the yard collapses from the explosion. "Oops," says Nuxt. "Time to apologize to the neighbors again, hehe!"
We head back inside to wash off the soot and embers from the explosions. Nuxt explains how a budding explosion enthusiast can become trained as a goblin engineer.
"Well, first you gotta learn the basics. Begin making some small dynamite, also a few of those infernal gnomish gadgets. Once you have learned enough to be ready to train as an artisan engineer, then we may admit you to our order. That is provided that you pass our extensive and dangerous tests, of course!"
Nuxt explains that his boss, Nixx Sprocketspring, is responsible for assisting and testing engineers who want to follow the goblin path. "Not all make it," he admits. "Some blow themselves up before they earn their goblin engineering membership card. But it's a dangerous business, baby!"
Sadly at that point Nuxt could not comment further, as he was called away to answer questions from the bruisers about the exploded wall.